“So you were an idiot again.”
Lou sat down across from Malcolm. “It wasn’t my fault. Not this time.”
“She called you over.”
“Yeah.”
“Did she ask you to leave?”
Lou shrugged. “Not really.”
“So it was your choice to leave. Again.”
“Yeah, but she was with this biker guy. What was I supposed to do?”
“What did he do?”
Lou fidgeted. “Um, he said something about an Indian.”
Malcolm tilted his head to one side, anticipating some elaboration. There was none. “Then what?”
“She maybe wants me to come back to visit. I’m not sure.”
“What exactly did she say?”
“Come back to visit.”
Malcolm threw his hands into the air. “As I said. An idiot.”
“But she was with that biker guy.”
“Listen to yourself. She did not say, ‘Go away. I am in love with this biker.’ She said, ‘Come back to visit.’ Which of these words is confusing you?”
“And what about Anne?”
“Nothing about Anne. She is with Philip.”
Lou sat and pouted, thinking that both women were confusing and paradoxical, at once beckoning and unobtainable. He drummed his fingers on the dining table, stalling before he told Malcolm that one extra thing.
“Also, I met this other woman.”
“Enough.” Malcolm rose and put his palms out to stop Lou from speaking. “Whatever is making you crazy, I do not want to catch it.” He headed for the door as Lou called the last word.
“You’re so lucky you’re gay.”
The female marked the male, rubbing her cheek on his, her lips upon his, her tongue flicking out for a taste.
On Wednesday night at eight fifty-one Lou remembered the ADA meeting. His initial thought was oh, well. But the rumpled flyer was on his nightstand, the issue did feel urgent, and there was Victoria with her oddly enticing energy. If he went now, he’d probably arrive at the end of the meeting with a bunch of strangers. Oh, well.
Lou pedaled through the calm June evening and locked his bike amidst two dozen others in front of the Cascadia Market building. He walked up the narrow stairway, the steps just as cracked and sloping as on his first day in Eugene. The front common area, the one with Switchboard, the Oracle, and other offices, was quiet, but he heard voices coming from the back. Lou walked through a short hallway and entered another, larger common room where the meeting of the Apollo Decommissioning Alliance was already in progress. A tall woman with short hair was holding up a wide feather and speaking in a soft voice.
“…make sure that everyone gets heard, not just people who know what they are talking about. That’s all.” She handed the feather to a bald man with mutton chops, who spoke next.
“Next is Kendra, then Percy, then Rabbit.” He gave the feather to Kendra, who uncrossed her legs and got up from the floor.
“I think, even though I love our affinity groups, we should get a sense of the whole first, because maybe we have a consensus already. ‘Cause if we have consensus, then we don’t need to break into affinity groups to decide if we should break into affinity groups.” She handed the feather back to the bald man, who gave it to Percy.
“I’m wondering if we can do both. Like, have one big meeting for folks who want that, and, like, have small group meetings at the same time for…”
Lou tuned out from the speaker and looked around. Nearly thirty people were gathered in the room. They formed a rough circle, some seated, some sitting on the floor, others standing. Here and there a couple had stepped back from the circle to whisper between themselves. Most attendees seemed to be in their twenties, but Lou saw a few gray heads in the crowd and a few who looked like teenagers. Lou spotted Victoria, her face flushed, her long hair tied back into a pony tail. She was scrunched into a corner of the sofa across the room. A man with curly blond hair and beard said something in her ear. Lou watched Victoria shift position from one leg folded under, then the other, then both knees up with her arms wrapped around them. Intermittently she would pause her restlessness and watch a fly buzzing around a ceiling lamp.
“…proposal to split into affinity groups to decide whether full consensus—”
Several voices interrupted. “No.” “That’s not it.” Someone called out, “Use the feather” Someone else countered, “You use the feather,” and like kernels of corn heated to their popping point, the discussion erupted into chaotic bursts of sincere, adamant voices. Lou preferred a better use of his time. He slunk around the outer edge of the crowd toward Victoria.
Mutton Chops raised his voice. “Hey, I have the feather now. Listen up, guys.”
“I’m not a guy,” shouted a woman. “Me, too,” shouted a guy, followed by a secondary frenzy of loud opinion. Lou neared the sofa. Victoria was bouncing where she sat, covering her ears.
A sudden, small change occurred. Several persons abruptly stopped talking. Then a few more. Lou looked over the crowd. With no apparent prompting, people had begun to raise their hands up high in simple silence. The rest quickly joined in. It took seconds for the entire room to calm down and be still.
“Thank you, everyone.” It was Mutton Chops again. He lowered his hand. “I’m passing the talking feather back to Rabbit, who I believe was making a proposal.
Rabbit took the feather. “I’m modifying my proposal to say ‘Let each affinity group choose its own consensus model, and have their spokes circle at our next meeting to explore consensus of the whole group.’ That’s all.” She handed the talking feather back to Mutton Chops.
“Are there any objections to Rabbit’s proposal?” He paused and checked for hands. “Are there any reservations or friendly amendments?” No one asked to speak. “Then we’re done, people. Affinity groups meet as you decide. Spokes meet back here in two weeks. Connect with Doc for nonviolent training. And stick around for the hokey-pokey if you want. Thanks, everyone.”
The circle disintegrated into small clusters and individuals. Various people left or stayed back, as they wished. Lou came up behind the sofa and saw the curly blond next to Victoria take her hand and lean close to her. A woman in a green Robin Hood hat spoke loudly.
“Hey, people. Some of us are gonna do animal spirits in the front room. Feel free to join us.”
Victoria sprung up from the sofa, still holding the man’s hand. “Let’s do animal spirits. It’s fun. Do it with me.” She bobbed rapidly on the balls of her feet. “C’mon, let’s do it.” Her eyes darted around, already an animal on alert.
“No, it feels too weird to me. People watching.” He stood up and spoke slowly. “Let’s just do the hokey-pokey.”
“No, c’mon. I wanna be an animal. Let’s do it. Try it. Just try it.” She pulled at him with both hands, still bobbing up and down.
“You’re getting a little excited.” He took his hand from her grip. “Maybe I should just take you home.”
“No, I’m fine. Come on. I wanna be an animal.” She then saw Lou standing behind the sofa and pointed at him. “Hey, I know you. You were looking for someone. Your roommate. What’s your name?”
“I’m Lou. You told me about this meeting.”
“Yeah, I remember. Did you find him? Hey, you wanna play animal spirits?” Victoria now directed all of her attention and energy at Lou. She came around the sofa towards him, still talking. “They’re starting up. C’mon, do it with me.”
Lou looked around. Most people had left. Maybe a dozen had circled up and held hands. He met eyes with the curly blond who Victoria was talking to. The man tilted his head and frowned, raised both hands with fingers spread apart, and turned away to join the circle.
“Um, okay.” Lou was hesitant, but his curiosity about animal spirits and about Victoria was persuasive. She took his hand and led him away as voices rose behind them.
“You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out…”
In the front common area, five people crouched down and crawled, slithered, waddled, and what not around the center of the room. Another half dozen persons watched from the side with different expressions of amusement.
“Let’s be wildcats,” said Victoria. She kicked off her shoes and went down on her hands and knees. One of the human animals prowled close and sniffed her. Another rolled over onto his back.
The point of this activity wasn’t clear to Lou, but he was game, so to speak. He took off his sneakers and got on all fours. A woman scuttled up to his face and stared at him for a second, then left to stare at someone else. Lou lowered himself, imagining he was a wildcat stalking its prey. He felt someone sliding their body along his. It was Victoria, who came up even with his head and started to purr. She acted more tame than wild. Singing continued from the other room.
“…put your right hand in and you shake it all about…”
Animal spirits was a short activity for most. Spectators saw enough and moved on. The duck, or whatever it was, shook her feathers, got up, and left the building. Lou ignored the other two creatures on the floor, but was appreciating the body contact with Victoria.
“..put your backside in, you put your backside out, you put…”
The other animals on the floor were satisfied, or bored, or something. They slipped their human shoes back on and disappeared down the stairs. Victoria curled around Lou and nuzzled her neck to his.
“…do the hokey-pokey and you turn…”
Only the wildcats were left. The female marked the male, rubbing her cheek on his, her lips upon his, her tongue flicking out for a taste.
Someone spoke. “You could leave with the man you came with.”
Lou looked up. The man with curly blond hair was walking away. Lou opened his mouth to speak, but Victoria took his head in her paws, bared her teeth, and pounced.
“…that’s what it’s all about.”